You lose yourself in the job.

You lose yourself in the relationship.

You lose yourself to some kind of addiction.

Eventually, the world chews you up and spits you out again.

You find yourself empty somewhere.

I get it.

I am not immune to it either.

I ran so hard and so fast at things without thinking about what I want.

I ran to grab brass rings in my career and my relationships.

They crumbled into dust and left me with nothing.

I had to questoin who I really am.

I do things naturally.

There are things I do without thinking at all.

I love to do them and I do them even when I am pennyless.

Fitness and martial arts have always had my heart.

They may not have always been the most profitable for a myraid of reasons.

Like…

Too young a marketer.

Did not understand optimization well.

I tried to force things into little boxes that they never should have went into in the first place. IE… Being a keyword egoist.

Jeet Kune Do is about stripping down and being economical.

The business world, at least from the outside, is all about adding, adding, and adding.

You keep adding clay to an artful statue and you probably have something that looks nothing like what you started with in the first place.

In fact, it is probably much worse.

Sometimes you have to lose to gain.

Sometimes you just have to go back to the beginning.

You have to remember who you were in order to embrace the future.

What is the problem? A lot of the punches are shortened, the kicks are not as powerful, and your bones are not ready for it. The truth is that hitting things actually counts. Why? Your bones adjust to contact. They grow stronger because they know that this is an activity that they do often. (See https://livehealthy.chron.com/punching-bag-make-knuckles-bigger-3035.html). Of course, the thought of hitting things is intimidating. Especially if you were taught to be meek. There is no shame in that because I grew up, not necessarily taught from my father, that I should be meek and listen to my elders.

Hitting things feels like crossing a line at times. It can really start feeling like something else if you take the proper mechanics to heart. It is addicting, because the sound of the “boom” when contact is made, can be amazing if you were never taught you can generate power. That being said, getting to that point may take some time to get there. At least, to get the mental headspace to allow yourself to hit something hard and know you are not going to lose control. 

Building up is a good thing. Using the other fitness classes to build up to it is fine. You just need to know what you are doing and how limited techniques you have in a real fight. If anything, you might develop the cardio to defend yourself for a very long time.

I haven’t been around for a long while and I miss certain aspects of this gig. What do I miss? I miss helping someone learn how to throw a proper Thai kick and the moment of realization that they generated that power. The moment they realized they had a tool that people should and can be afraid of if they met the business end of it. Honestly, that had less to do with me and more to do with the fact that person probably learned, at that moment, that was who they have always been. I just happened to be the guy who unlocked it by holding a punching or kicking pad and that satisfying, “POOM” noise came out when they hit me and the pads as hard as they could.

What do I miss about the business end? I miss actually feeling like a business owner and that I was in control. The buck stopped and started with me. I was the end all be all of this business. A good feeling. The problem? It was never profitable as a local business and it was never going to be with me at the helm. Why? The sheer fact of who am I well built to train. A lot more about this later in this post.

That was my mistake. Truth? It was about as profitable as I was going to make it. It was successful at getting who was available and responded to my marketing locally. Who was that? In general, 25-45-year-old women who liked soccer or had kids. I started tending more and more that way and it was working. However, it is a finite amount of people unless you become something I am not. I’m not, as I learned, I’m far too nice, an MMA fighter. I’m also not a huge fan of training kids because I don’t buy into the marketing that says kids learn discipline from the martial arts. The truth about that? Some kids learn discipline from martial arts. Others don’t. They have to be pre-disposed to it. Expecting anything else is not smart. Many of the people who espouse this are the kids who fit this scenario from the beginning. You have to be like them to get the same results. But, we’re not all the same are we? Therefore, yes, I can give your kid discipline, but it has to be who they are before they even meet me. There is no magic juice. No matter how much the marketing or sales they that exist. It doesn’t.

So, what do I teach? Self-defense. Plain and simple. Stuff you’re supposed to know if it is going to be you or them going home. If they are serious then you are too, but if it is your drunk uncle and you need control then you can deal with them at that level. Most martial arts only teach one side of the continuum. We call it, “injuring to a degree.” An amount appropriate to the level needed and not more.

Obviously, there are levels to that thought. You have to have emotional control and you have to know what you’re capable of when you decide that it is time to defend yourself. Knowing my marketing and who responds to it means that you are probably a lady. You have a family. You want to protect them and getting fit during it would be a great idea. Exactly what I’m here for and do. If you want all that then you are in the right place. You don’t have to grapple with males. Moreover, you don’t need to be sweat upon. You just need to be where you are and practice. Why? Pandemics are a good reason why. Also, as we see, local marketing or this as a business is bad for me. I’d have to be in a bigger town and, honestly, is a very moot point at this moment. I can’t promise you’ll be the best in the world but you will be the best you can be. You’ll feel confident and you’ll know most everyone you meet is in trouble if they mess with you. Honestly, I know, in working with people like you, you deserve it. You have sacrificed enough and you have worked more than hard for you and your family. It is time for you to carve out a little space in your world where you know that you just might be one of the baddest people in a room.